What The Heck is an "Open" Marriage?

A Poet, who I'm cool with, said that he's in an open relationship on Face Book. Actress/Comedienne MO ' NIQUE stated in an interview, that she and her husband, have an Open Marriage. What the heck does that mean?

When I was single, I acted single! I dated different Women. A few, became "Real" relationships but the only time, we were "Open", was before we established, that we wanted to have a more defined committed relationship.

Can you BE married and BEhave as if you are single? The answer is NO! If you are married there is a certain selfishness, a certain jealousy, a possessiveness, that comes along with it. It's Required! It's a Rule!

We hate Rules Mista Jaycee!

I know! That's why, I love y'all so much! But darn it! If we gon have this here relationship, we gon have to have some rules! Set some boundaries!

Open Relationship! WTH!!!!!

I bet you the idea of an "Open Relationship" was invented by the same company that invented "Casual Sex" and "Casual Friday"!

(Laughter)

There ain't no "Casual" about it!

For instance, lets say, I come over to my female buddies place, grab a beer, and watch a liberated copy of the "Book of Eli". Then I casually comment that she has nice D/S Lips! She doesn't get offended, cause we buddies right?

Then, I casually, start to kiss her lips, we have sex, and after we've finished, we, casually go about our lives, cause we just buddies right? We don't hang out the next few days, then see each other in the market. I'm with another girl! I'm shaved, bathed and well BEhaved. I introduced you as my buddy. You not mad! Right?

There's no Commitment, no Agreement we've made. There's no dishonor right?

It's alright! I've never shaved for you! I've never dressed up for you! I've never BEhaved with you, like I'm BEhaving now! We're buddies! We've seen each other nekked! We've shared essence! But hey! Buddies right? "Casual"! Change one detail. Now, we seeing one another. You stop by my place to bring me a plate, but it's an "Open" relationship, so it's cool that another girl's leaving my place right?

It's "Open!"

We just buddies! Just Friends! This was all very "Casual" right? You wake up, and put on all your buddies t-shirts and make breakfast, after y'all had sex right?

Y'all starting to get the point? Course y'all are! Some of y'all are bristling right now cause y'all in that kind of relationship right now!

There ain't no OPEN relationship! There ain't no OPEN Marriage! There is no "CASUAL" Sex! That's some bullshyt that they sold you!

Think on it! God (IAM) tells us in the 10 Commandments that God (IAM) is a Jealous God! In the 2nd Testament (New Testament) The Church is likened to a Woman and a Bride and Yeshua (Jesus) is called the Bridegroom. It's a Marriage! It's a bond! A serious thang.

What I think they mean when they say "Open" is that they are not "Committed"! Now, the reasons may vary. Maybe she's rich but old. He goes to all the parties and looks pretty for her. He goes out and gets him a Young Woman as long as he's discreet. They may even care for each other, but the Marriage is not made of the right stuff. Maybe He's Gay but wants a Family. He's good to her and the kids. They Love and care for each other as much as the other is able.

Now on the other side.

Maybe one is just afraid. Fear will have you accept alot of things. It keeps a Woman who's had three children by the same Man from demanding that they make it legal and honest.

Fear will make a Man accept being the Boyfriend in everything but name! People fear permenance! They fear Commitment! It means that you are accountable! It means that you have to BE responsible!

It means that you miss out on the Good Stuff! Marriage is beautiful when it's done right! It's beautiful and although you may glance at someone else occasionally you won't miss being single. Not when it done right. Marriage ain't for Punks though. That's why you got to get a license!

Now as far as a relationship goes. Being "THE" Girlfriend or Boyfriend is the ish! It beats being the sidepiece, wifey, Eff Buddie, jump off, MILF, and HLF (Homie Lover Friend) any day of the week. It means that they are yours! All yours! You don't have to share and you won't BE shared! It means your exclusive!

If the person you married to ain't grown enough to BE married all the way to you..then maybe y'all need to each find someone who is. If the person you are dating is not committed to you fully. Then, keep dating and you will find someone who is.

Don't Settle for BEing "Open" Don't let someone toss you away "Casually" Dig?

BE Prayerful! BE Mindful! BE Careful!

Jaycee

Novelist Odie Hawkins has released his 41st novel Matador Negro "Azucar" or Sugar the Black Matador Part 2.    The Watts Writers/Open Door, NAACP Image Award winner is still writing and publishing new and exciting work.

Be sure to grab Matador Negro "Azucar" Part 1, Palm Wine Junction ( A new collection of short stories) and of course the limited large print re-issue of "Sweet Peter Deeder". It's signed and numbered with a new Pen and Pixel graphic cover for the affordable cover price of $50.00.  Copies of  Sweet Peter Deeder are limited to 100 copies.

BE Prayerful! BE Mindful! BE Careful!

Jaycee

Kamasi Washington - 'Change of the Guard'

A couple of days ago in Staten Island, New York a Large Black Man was placed in a chokehold by seven Police Officers and choked until he was dead.  He was not resisting arrest.  There is no evidence he even cursed at the officer.

When I first began to write this blog I wrote a post about the nature of police brutality.  When I did that I wrote of what I observed.  The Long Beach Police Department of Long Beach, CA has a practice of having the detained lean against the hood of their police car.  I observed a young, shirtless, Afrikan American Male directed to lay of the hood of the vehicle chest down.  It was in the high 90's and the hood was hot!

The Officers checked the young man's id via radio while he laid across the hood.  I stated that I believed this was torture.  Why not allow the young Man to sit on the curb? He was not in handcuffs. There were two officers, both young, both with hand weapons.

I got attacked as being anti police.  I am not anti police.  I am ANTI Brutality!

Here is the problem as I see it.  An Officer has awesome power but when that Officer is not responsible the stakes are just too high.  Often we end up DEAD! There is no do over for DEAD!
There is no do over for false imprisonment.

It's time that Police and Law Enforcement agencies pay the ultimate penalty when they transgress.  Maximum jail time.  25 years to Life or more. Loss of Fortune etc.

It's time for the cities to step up too. Better job training. More cultural sensitivity.  Penalties that are enacted long before these incidents occur.


BE Prayerful! BE Mindful! BE Careful!

Jaycee

Allen Stone - "The Bed I Made" Taylor Sessions

No one ever said I'd get rich by writing. They never even said that I would be successful.  I write because it is what I am. When I am not writing I am dreaming and preparing to write.  When a short story is finished, I email it to friends, sometimes family and once in a while I'll hear it was good. I liked it.

That's it?  It was good? I liked it?

No one reads all the drafts, the half started ideas, the rejection letters except you.  They mention your passion as a hobby or ask how's your "lil" writing thang going?

But you write.  Sometimes they think they are helping you by suggesting that maybe you take a class, or maybe the character would be better received if he was younger.

And you write.  Why? It's what you do.  It is what I am.

Remember what you are.  A saxophonist is gonna play a lot of off notes, and play a lot of shit that people are not gonna to want to hear but if he does not play he will never be a master.

So do your thing.

BE Prayerful! BE Mindful! BE Careful!

Jaycee

If you think this is what racism is supposed to look like then you are truly naive. 

A teenager was shot in the back of the head by an Asian merchant in Watts, CA.  Her name was Latasha Harland.  She had gone in the store just before school to get some orange juice.  She was followed around by the store clerks, harassed and finally decided she would take no more and would leave the store.  The merchant, a Woman tried to search Latasha Harland's back pack.  Latasha refused and was walking out of the store.  The Woman shot her in the back of head.  Later when she was brought to court she was not sentenced to life in prison for cold blooded murder but to probation.

That was the early 1990's.  A White Hispanic Man named George Zimmerman, a self styled neighborhood watchman followed an unarmed teenager through a gated community. Zimmerman called the police, was told to cease following the teenager but persisted and shoots the teen killing him saying he feared for his life.  The teen, Travon Martin, age 17, had a can of Arizona Ice tea and a package of skittles candy.  Zimmerman was brought to trail and acquitted. Martin, deceased was painted to be a thug kid.  

Jordan Davis was shot and killed sitting in a truck after Michael Dunn an older White Man emptied a hand weapon into the vehicle wounding several teenagers and killing Davis.  He was convicted of attempted murder but not murder.  

So what do these incidents tell us?  It tells Black People that there lives are not worth anything in the eyes of the American judicial system.  Don't believe me. Go back to Rodney King. He was beaten by several police officers, it was filmed by a White Man and still the officers were acquitted. They were caught on tape.  

So in spite of evidence.  In spite of eye witnesses. In spite of the whole world watching all these people were abused, mistreated and killed. Afterwards their characters were defamed and slandered. Why? Because of their clothing? Because of their music? Because of their regional style of walk, talk and attitude.  Because they were Black! 

If you think that the racist power structure is not alive and well or that racism looks like the above photo then I feel bad for you because you are blind. 

BE Prayerful! BE Mindful! BE Careful! 

Jaycee

Super Con!

I recieved an email supposedly from Google informing me that I some unspecified item has been posted on my blog and some unidentified party has stated to them supposedly that I have infringed on their copyrighted or trademarked item. 

Hummm! It would help GOOGLE if you informed a BLOGGER such as myself, what supposed item has been infringed upon.  What post? What date? What Blog? Did I use a quote? Did I use a photo? What?

Copyrights and Trademarks protect everyone if they are used correctly.  If you feel that I have used a photo of yours or a piece of copyrighted material improperly I apologize, then I want to know what items you speak of and who you are so that I can take them down.  I am not about to scour or delete five years worth of pictures, 98.9 percent are public domain because they are posted from the internet and by the way the photos say courtesy of the World Wide Web. 

 These are my rights as a blogger who by the way owns a ton of copyrighted material, some of which appears in A Choice Of Weapons, Mista Jaycee's Stretchin Outtttt and Odie Hawkins Unlimited. 

I can respect a corporate entities right to protect their property but I want to know what items they say belong to them and I will not take down one single item or post until I am properly informed of what specifically is the offending item.

BE Prayerful! BE Mindful! BE Careful!
Jaycee

Dig, I hope that everyone is doing great! I've been a lazy bum but I am still bloggin.  Just lazy! I'll be back next week....

BE Prayerful! BE Mindful! BE Careful!
Jaycee