A Poet, who I'm cool with, said that he's in an open relationship on Face Book. Actress/Comedienne MO ' NIQUE stated in an interview, that she and her husband, have an Open Marriage. What the heck does that mean?
When I was single, I acted single! I dated different Women. A few, became "Real" relationships but the only time, we were "Open", was before we established, that we wanted to have a more defined committed relationship.
Can you BE married and BEhave as if you are single? The answer is NO! If you are married there is a certain selfishness, a certain jealousy, a possessiveness, that comes along with it. It's Required! It's a Rule!
We hate Rules Mista Jaycee!
I know! That's why, I love y'all so much! But darn it! If we gon have this here relationship, we gon have to have some rules! Set some boundaries!
Open Relationship! WTH!!!!!
I bet you the idea of an "Open Relationship" was invented by the same company that invented "Casual Sex" and "Casual Friday"!
There ain't no "Casual" about it!
For instance, lets say, I come over to my female buddies place, grab a beer, and watch a liberated copy of the "Book of Eli". Then I casually comment that she has nice D/S Lips! She doesn't get offended, cause we buddies right?
Then, I casually, start to kiss her lips, we have sex, and after we've finished, we, casually go about our lives, cause we just buddies right? We don't hang out the next few days, then see each other in the market. I'm with another girl! I'm shaved, bathed and well BEhaved. I introduced you as my buddy. You not mad! Right?
There's no Commitment, no Agreement we've made. There's no dishonor right?
It's alright! I've never shaved for you! I've never dressed up for you! I've never BEhaved with you, like I'm BEhaving now! We're buddies! We've seen each other nekked! We've shared essence! But hey! Buddies right? "Casual"! Change one detail. Now, we seeing one another. You stop by my place to bring me a plate, but it's an "Open" relationship, so it's cool that another girl's leaving my place right?
We just buddies! Just Friends! This was all very "Casual" right? You wake up, and put on all your buddies t-shirts and make breakfast, after y'all had sex right?
Y'all starting to get the point? Course y'all are! Some of y'all are bristling right now cause y'all in that kind of relationship right now!
There ain't no OPEN relationship! There ain't no OPEN Marriage! There is no "CASUAL" Sex! That's some bullshyt that they sold you!
Think on it! God (IAM) tells us in the 10 Commandments that God (IAM) is a Jealous God! In the 2nd Testament (New Testament) The Church is likened to a Woman and a Bride and Yeshua (Jesus) is called the Bridegroom. It's a Marriage! It's a bond! A serious thang.
What I think they mean when they say "Open" is that they are not "Committed"! Now, the reasons may vary. Maybe she's rich but old. He goes to all the parties and looks pretty for her. He goes out and gets him a Young Woman as long as he's discreet. They may even care for each other, but the Marriage is not made of the right stuff. Maybe He's Gay but wants a Family. He's good to her and the kids. They Love and care for each other as much as the other is able.
Now on the other side.
Maybe one is just afraid. Fear will have you accept alot of things. It keeps a Woman who's had three children by the same Man from demanding that they make it legal and honest.
Fear will make a Man accept being the Boyfriend in everything but name! People fear permenance! They fear Commitment! It means that you are accountable! It means that you have to BE responsible!
It means that you miss out on the Good Stuff! Marriage is beautiful when it's done right! It's beautiful and although you may glance at someone else occasionally you won't miss being single. Not when it done right. Marriage ain't for Punks though. That's why you got to get a license!
Now as far as a relationship goes. Being "THE" Girlfriend or Boyfriend is the ish! It beats being the sidepiece, wifey, Eff Buddie, jump off, MILF, and HLF (Homie Lover Friend) any day of the week. It means that they are yours! All yours! You don't have to share and you won't BE shared! It means your exclusive!
If the person you married to ain't grown enough to BE married all the way to you..then maybe y'all need to each find someone who is. If the person you are dating is not committed to you fully. Then, keep dating and you will find someone who is.
Don't Settle for BEing "Open" Don't let someone toss you away "Casually" Dig?
BE Prayerful! BE Mindful! BE Careful!