Tuesday, March 31, 2009

VICTORY IS MINE! 31 Days without A SODA!

Well, I did it! 31 Days without drinking a SODA! That's the longest I have ever been without a SODA of any kind. What an adventure! I lost some weight. I feel better. Strangely enough though the withdrawal headaches are starting now. It's been 31 days! That shows you how bad I was with it. But I WON! VICTORY IS MINE!

Of course, the COLA People did send the Killer Robot for me. She's cute ain't she. Grateful Daisy, I did it! Hey RIPPa, thanks for your help and support. And for the record, Even though the Coca Cola people ambushed my totally innocent wife and corrupted her Cola Free palate. She rebounded and didn't drink anymore. NAH NAH NAH NAH! VICTORY IS MINE!

Oh, yeah! Victory is MINE!

BE Careful! BE Mindful! BE Prayerful!


Monday, March 30, 2009

Cool Vampire Flick! Nuff Said!

This weekend my Wife rented "Twilight" and they were out of Quantum of Solace so I went looking and anyone who knows me knows that weird and odd things jump right out at me. They sit up for me like puppies. This time I read the box and it said Best Vampire Film ever!
Oh, Hellllll yeahhhhh! Vampire film! I'm there dude!
So I rented "Let the right one in!" Now, just so you know this film is soooo slow but it's worth it.
It's set in 1982 and it's the story of Oskar and Eli (pronounced Ellie) both twelve. Oskar is being bullied at school and Eli just moved next door. Due to her "condition" she can only come out at night so she meets Oskar after school. Now just so you know Oskar is a lil dense. Not stupid but it took him a minute to figure it out. It's Stockholm, Sweden and it's snowing. Eli comes out barefoot in the snow.
"Aren't you cold?"
"I forgot how!"
Now, Eli and Oskar become friends. At first Eli coaches Oskar on how to deal with the bullies. It works. Eli and Oskar have a lil puppy love romance. That's cute but Eli has to keep moving. Bodies get noticed ya know. She promises Oskar that she will always be looking out for him though.
Just so you know Oskar tried a blood brother incident that was well.....dangerous. That's all I'm gonna say. Even though it was slow compared to an American film, the movie score is beautiful. It shot lovely. The actors leave a lil to be desire but Oskar and Eli are gems.
Hint...when the bullies go to far you are not ready for this ish! Trust!
BE Careful! BE Mindful! BE Prayerful!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Mista Jaycee's List of the Slept On Divas!

Ok, first thanks to all the of those cool folks who commented on Mista Jaycee's list of DIVAS!

The fun part was that folks added names that they thought I missed. Etta James got mentioned. Phyllis Hyman got mentioned not to mention a few others. I didn't get the effect I desired though and that's my fault. Mary J. Bee and Alicia are not DIVAS.....Yet! Although they may be some day. Just being Hot for a few years does not a DIVA make.

But now I decided instead of just writing another post to actually post some music. So to your right I have compiled a good list of some of the most slepted on DIVAS. Cheryl Lynn, Angela Bofill, just to name a few.
Now to your nuetral corners. No biting, rabbit punches, or hitting below the belt. I'm talking to you RIPPa and Miss Ann Brock from The Old Black Church. I'm keeping an eye on you to. 8-)
BE Prayerful! BE Mindful! BE Careful!

What does Mista Jaycee?

Lots of things. An original sounding voice. Great vocal talent. This includes vocal acrobatics but is not limited to that. Range. Lyrical interpretation.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I rented Cadillac Records this weekend and even though I loved all the actors I don't like the movie. Now I love the director Darnell Martin. The Sista keeps getting better and as the First Afrikan American Female to helm a Major Motion picture (I Like It Like that) she gets my respect but she is listed as the screenwriter of Cadillac Records. This is a story about Leonard Chess and Chess Records.

Miss Martin, let me ask you before you wrote the screenplay did you actually RESEARCH your subject matter? Did you read any of the biographies or interviews from that time? I gotta know! I read Jerry Wexlers Autobiography and in it Mr. Wexler ( A Jewish Man) describes The Chess Brothers, Leonard and Phil (Also Jewish) as anything but benevolent and fair.

I quote, " I walked into a local bar and the Chess Brothers and the Behari Brothers (another famous Jewish set of Record Company owners) were sitting at a table and called me over. "Jerry! We hear that you guys over at Atlantic Records are promising them five cents a record and playing them five cents a record! Why not just give them Five Hundred dollars and be done with it? " The Chess Brothers made alot of money off of Willie Dixon, Howling Wolf and Muddy Waters. Muddy Waters once told biographers that Leonard Chess said "Muddy you'll always have a job with me....when you get old you can paint the walls of the studio." The Rolling Stones visited Chess Records and found their HERO, Muddy Waters, doing just that. Mick Jagger stated that they walked in and there was Muddy Waters, who they named their band after his song Rolling Stone, is painting the walls.

Mick: What are You doing here doing this?
Muddy Waters: I gotta Eat!

The Rolling Stones took Muddy Waters on tour and it gave him a boost to his career. You kinda mentioned this but the movie overall is a big untruthful puff piece made to look like a feel good story that really is the story of another record company shark who bilked alot of Musicians out of their royalties and publishing.

There may have been alot of good in Chess and his Brother but Muddy Waters was not wearing a suit and driving a Cadillac like your movie makes it look. And as for Bee as Etta James. Well, I don't believe that there was no big love affair between the two that you alluded to. I don't think Leonard Chess was that Loving of a Dude.

I know that movies allow for literary and artistic license but Damn Darnell! Damn Darnell!

Then we watched Spikes Miracle of St. Anna. I enjoyed the film. The only real criticisms I have is the waste of Michael Ealy in the role of Bishop. I know Michael Ealy can play a hustling pretty boy well but I've watched Showtimes Sleeper Cell and There Eyes were Watching God and know for a fact the boy has alot more range. It's a shame he's limited and reduced to Bishop.

Derrick Luke will grow as an actor but I do believe that he was miscast in this role. He was simply too young to have been a Sgt in the Army. He looked in and he acted it! Alot of those guys were Men at that time and had been Men for a long time. But I ain't getting down on Spike cause Hell, at least he has tried to stretch over the years.

And it don't hurt that I Like Spike!

BE Careful! BE Mindful! BE Prayerful!
Uriel Jones, one of the last of Motown's Funk Brothers has passed on. It's good to see a mainstream source like AOL talk about it ONE day after it happened instead of weeks later or well NEVER! Thanks for the Funk!
Forest J. Ackerman also know as Forrey and the Ackermonster has passed on too. For Science Fiction and Horror Writers and fans he published Famous Monsters of Filmland, Spacemen and directly and indirectly via magazine encourged a young budding writer named Stephen King. Thanks for the trills, chills and most of all fun! http://www.seeing-stars.com/Museums/ForrestAckerman.shtml

We Selfishly weep!
BE Careful! BE Mindful! BE Prayerful!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

All Rants Aside, WTF?

WTF? The last couple of days have been well, I'll ask again...WTF? Tammy Bruce called the Obama Family Trash? Why, would you do that? Then she tried to weakly clarify it saying Trash knows no color! Now, President Bam Bam's Special Olympics quip aside, and that was Eff'd up President Bam Bam Sir, that was Eff'd up! Funnie, but oh, COME ON! That ish was funnie!
The point is that Obama family has been more civil than anyone should expect. I would not be that civil. Would you?
Here we are in the worst economic shape we've ever been in since the Great Depression and I've noticed a few things. 1. Folks want Obama to fix what it has taken TWO DECADES of DE-REGULATION to create in 58 Days.
2. The Democratic Party is still a bunch of Pu**ies! Hey Democrats! You are not backing up your President! He's calling for a change and you still doing ish the same way you've always done ish. You let the Repugnicrats say whatever the Eff they want and you don't call them on the Two, count them TWO BUSH TAX CUTS FOR THE TOP WAGE EARNERS! Don't call them on the culture of DE-Regulation that they have presided over. Letting Republicans say FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY is like a whoring Man telling his Whoring daughter that she needs to put some clothes on and dress and act like a Lady!
3. Letting the States of Mississippi and Louisiana have Chief Executives that turn down Stimulus money when both are last in EDUCATION, JOBS, HEALTH CARE, CRIME PREVENTION, and so many other things. Ask Bobby Jindal what efforts or plans he put in place that worked before KATRINA? Now what has he done since KATRINA except mouth off and get elected? What about Haley Barbour? The Crooked Letter State got hit by that *itch Katrina Tooo. What have you done? What about the Crimson Tide, Alabama? They got hit?
What about FAUX NEWS? They talk major ish! When were they ever critical of anything that happened the last eight years? AMERICA imprisoned people without trail? Did FAUX criticize? Eff Naw! AMERICA Spied on people without a court order! FAUX anything? People were given National Security Letters gagging them about investigations being held in SECRET by the Government! And FAUX didn't say anything. AMERICA! ABU GHARIB?
Faux needs to be critical on thier own pundits including that Fat Drug Addict that said he hopes President Bam Bam fails!
But all rants aside... there IS Justice is the world. SOOOO you voted not to extend Unemployment insurance when times were good and now the same REPUBS are jobless and need some HELP not a HANDOUT huh? Maybe your Church was the Most INTOLERANT and claims they were just SOCIALLY CONSERVATIVE and they grew by leaps and bounds. Now they too are laying off staff and cutting services but some and I say only some CHURCHES are being FORECLOSED ON?
All rants aside though..
BE Careful! BE Mindful! BE Prayerful!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

New Poetry!

“ Stop light”

Horns blare
Traffic grounds to a halt
Road rage!
Angry motorists curse and scream!
Horns blare
Looking for a fight
It ain’t my fault traffic is ground to a halt
Can’t they see I’m stuck at the light?


I’m mesmerized by the high, soft, luscious, jiggly, perfection of her behind
I can’t move
Light tan face
Brown tresses with blond highlights

In wife beater tee
Inspires belly button dreams
Damn! Legs long built with tennis or track

Her laugh sounds like wind chimes
I’m drooling over her rack
Turn the corner so I can come right
Back but now since I’m crusin and she’s out of sight

I drive like bat out of hell
So I can beat all the lights!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Long Beach Poly Lady Jackrabbits Win 4th State Title

Four Times in Four Years! The Long Beach Polytechnical High School Ladies team has won the State Championship in Basketball! Congratulations on # 4.
Way to Win Classy!
BE Careful! BE Mindful! BE Prayerful!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Inspirational Thought of the Day!

God does not have us here just to take up Space. Give Selflessly and Often.

Show Up to Life's Food Fight with a Switchblade Spork!


Coke Chronic! Day 20

Even Nature Coca-Cola? Et tu Monsieur Squirrel? Oh, Sorrow!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Denzel Washington! Just Being Denzel!

I know some of y'all detest clowns as much as I do so I posted pictures of Denzel doing cool stuff for no other reason than Denzel is Denzel. Denzel's Cool like that!
Oscar Winner! Thespian Extraordinaire!

So You say I can save money with Geico?

Hello Mr. President Sir!

Thank You for Your Service Sir. Glad You enjoyed the films!

A New Letter From Albert T. Clown!

I think this is that nice Lil Kim Backstage at Dancing with the Stars! No! Well, she's cute ain't she?

Dear Mista Jaycee,
I have kept abreast of your recent struggles with Coca Cola and carbonated beverages. I find it interesting that you show such weakness while continuing your life as a raging Clownophobe!
I'm Sorry, That wasn't very nice was it? Let's start over. Shake on it K! Oh, come on Mista Jaycee it was just a Joy buzzer! Let's be friends! In the interests of goodwill I figured that a little education into the Children's Professional Community of which Clowns are a small but integral part would be a worthwhile undertaking for a professional such as myself. Enclosed are pictures of some of our newest practitioners in the art of Children's Entertainment. Let's let bygones be bygones! Clowns aren't scary! Come on say it with me! Clowns aren't Scary! Clowns are our Friends!
Michael Steele, a long time practitioner in the art of the Clown recently took over as the first Afrikan American Head of the Republican Party! Truly this is diversity at it's finest!
Afrikan American/Clown/Republican/
Now's that's Diversity!
Ms. March in the most recent issue of Honk Magazine! Look at the nose on her!

Oooh! I got a preview of Ms. June! Honk! Honk!
Come on Mista Jaycee! I know that you would love for Ms. June to spray you with her flower!
Good Luck Staying off Coca Cola!
Love You!
Albert T. Clown

Coke Chronic Sneak Attack! Day 18

The Sith Lords of Coca Cola Corporation have now escalated the intensity of their efforts to keep me ensnared. It is now Day 18 and I'm feeling good although I can still feel Coke's pull whenever I go to the lil market next door or to the break room at work.

The Sexxxy Texts continue! I have provided an illustration above to demonstrate their ruthless seductive power.

You have no idea the power of the Dark side of the force. You can not resist the dark side. It is very seductive. Darth Vader

Yesterday, The Coke people played dirty! DIRTY! DIRTY! LOW DOWN DOWNRIGHT DIRTY!

They got Mrs. Jaycee! THEY GOT MRS. JAYCEE! They got her at a luncheon when she wasn't looking. It was St. Patty's day and she ignored the Guinness and was enjoying the corn beef and cabbage when she reached for a Lipton and instead grabbed a Coke. She told me I took two large gulps then realized that I had drank half a can.

A shudder of fear goes up my spine as I try to describe the tone in her voice when she said I took two large gulps before I realized it and realized I had drank half a can.

You can leave anytime you want but you can never leave---The Eagles Hotel California

I just received a text message. We have her nooooow! Come back to the dark side.

Don't you miss me baby?



I'm in trouble!

BE Careful! BE Prayerful! BE Mindful!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Candace Parker is Having a Baby! Cool!

Candace CP 3 Parker is having a baby! Cool! Cool! Cool! Congrats on the great season! Congrats on the degree! Congrats on the nuptials! Congrats! And May the God (IAM) richly bless you, your husband and new addition.
Now that I got that out of the way I kinda ticked off at the way AOL presented the story. The AOL story begins with Roger Federer and his new baby as well as the fact that he is married "Now"! Of course this is celebrated! But as the article points out Candace Parker, The Los Angeles Sparks Forward is also married but had to be at least three months along when she and her husband Mr. Shelden Williams got hitched.
So What! Mrs. Parker Williams is a grown azz woman who earned a college degree from the University of Tennessee and is in the 1st year of a Master's degree when she won her Championship during the last Tennessee run. So, you can keep all that shame bull ish to yourself! She has nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing! And if she has anything that she feels uneasy about that's between her family, her Husband and her God! It ain't to be judged by anyone else. She chose to get married! She didn't have to.

Is Candace Parker a role model? Hell, yeah! And she's a damn good one too. Name me one role model besides Jesus of Nazareth that you can look up to without finding anything imperfect? Exactly! She's educated! She's degreed when so many Male athletes with half her talent leave college without a degree and have multiple babies with multiple sistahs and ain't thinking about taking near one of them down the aisle.
Candace Parker and most athletes and public figures step up and try to be good role models and citizens but they owe you nothing! Nothing, except to show up to work and perform! Anything else is extra and God Bless them for it!
Again, the hypocrisy must end! Go ahead Candace! God Bless! Now, do some Yoga and hit the weights and when baby comes be ready to play for the Sparks!

BE Careful! BE Mindful! BE Prayerful!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Definition: Drishti is a point of focus where the gaze rests during asana and meditation practice. Focusing on a drishti aids concentration, since it is easier to become distracted when the eyes are wandering all over the room. Each yoga pose has a specific drishti, which also aids in alignment. For instance, in Extended Side Angle Pose - Parsvakonasana the gaze is towards the raised hand, which also reminds us the turn our heads up towards the ceiling. Drishtis are particularly emphasized in Ashtanga yoga. Even though a drishti can be described as a fixed gaze, the eyes should always stay soft, never straining.

These pics are courtesy of Yogadawg! Hilarious! http://yogadawg.blogspot.com/

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Coke Chronic! Jaycee's 30 Day No Soda Challenge Day 13

I've been on the 30 Day No Soda Challenge and it's Friday the 13th! I'm working a long shift and the bottles were calling out to me this morning.

"Hi, Haven't seen you in a while Don't you miss me? "

The perspiration is slowly developing across my temples.

"No, I don't!" The lie tastes like a liver wrapped onion.

"I miss you! Are you suuuuuure you don't miss me just a lil bit?" The coke bottle coos.

Several beads have developed along my forehead and are now traveling southbound burning my eyes.

"No! I don't! I feel so much better without you. I feel so much lighter without you too!"

Now she's, did I just write she, I mean the Coke bottle is getting mad and frustrated.

"Who takes care of you! Who caresses those cold cold ice chips? Who watches all those Dodger games with you? ME! Have you forgotten?"

The Coke and Pepsi peoples are sending me sexxxy texts. Like don't you want some sugar?

Mmmmmm! Frutose Corn syrup! Ahhhhh! Carbonated Water! Ummmm Sodium and Red # 11

Ohhhhh the horror!

But I feel good! Real good!

BE Careful! BE Mindful! BE Prayerful!

Mista Jaycee's List of Real Divas!

Ok, yall I've been meaning to plug y'all into this long standing battle that I have with my daughter. Baby Girl says she hates my music but I often find my cd's, records and or cassette tapes in her possession. Even funnier she goes and buys the songs off ITUNES that I have on the cd rack but she too proud to ask Dad if he indeed owns said record.

Now it's a rite of passage for the kid to steal from thier parents music collection. I did it, my Father did it, his Fathers, Father did it but now comes part two of the debate. In an age where everything is either digitally programmed or tweaked in some sort of way it's hard to tell the difference between the real thang and the fake. You know like Lil Kim's treble section and Angel Lola Luv's Bass Section. Dig?

Let's start with the word DIVA! DIVA literally means Goddess or the premier female singer in an opera. PRIMA DONNA also means First Lady. Of course, negative connotations have been attached to both words and even worse they are used so much now that they lost all thier seasoning.

BEYONCE has a great voice, pretty face, nice body and can dance.

ALICIA KEYS has a nice voice, can play piano, write interesting songs and is very easy on the eyes. In addition to that I agree with Long Beach East Arts Village Poet Leonard Williams that she has a cool overbite. I'll quote Leonard. Oh, Alicia Keys I love your overbite, you look like a little bunnie, do you need some money....

MARY J. BLIGE the wife is gonna hate this but MARY is in a special class. Mary improves on every album in every aspect. Looks, subject matter, beats, melody and voice quality. She, like the Whispers just gets better with time. But Mary's best gift is that you believe Mary when she sings a song. Even if she didn't write it, you think it's from her autobiography. Now just for the record though she is the Reigning Queen of Hip Hop Soul!

And all the of them is great but none of them have earned the righteous title of DIVA. One day they will be able to wear it but Today ain't that Day!

So Now here's MistaJaycee's SuperHyperliciousChocolatefreakinghabitformingultratasty list of the Real DIVAS! Try saying that three times fast. (Smile)

I humbly present GLADYS KNIGHT! She was a solo artist long before she grabbed her fam and had them singing and dancing behind her as the Pips. Muscially, ask yourself, have you ever heard anyone that sounds like Gladys? Before or since? Where the baby Gladys? Truly an original voice. ORIGINAL!

Next CHAKA KHAN! The former Black Panther turned Siren influenced Madonna and Brandy and Brittany who followed her fashion setting trends wearing those midriffs, halter tops and hip huggers. Now for the pipes! Chaka's pipes are outerworldly! She's got pipes, range, and most of all Power!

Next on the list NATALIE COLE! Being the daughter of a legend may have given her hereditary talent but this Woman like Chaka has pipes. I mean Natalie Cole can do more in a minute and a half on a record than most singers do on thier whole albums.
So with this let the debate begin.

BE Careful! BE Mindful! BE Prayerful!