Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Mista Jaycee's Top Five Disturbing, Scary Kid Toys!

My Man, Serious Black, from over at the League of Evil Monkeys guested on this post. The idea came about as I was just thinking out loud, (Yes! I think about stuff like this) that a Jack In The Box ain't funnie! You never see a little kid laugh when playing with it! Think......the kid cracks the toy, the Pop Goes the Weasel songs comes on then POP! The Kid jumps back when this look of What the Hell was that? Then he tests it again cause it can't be that scary again......right?


So here's our little list of the most disturbing, scary kid toys!

5. Teddy Ruxpin!

Teddy is scary! Go on admit it, you know you want to!

4. Clown Punching Bag!

It glowed in the dark and at night when it sat in the corner it was scary! SCARY Darn it!

3. The Cabbage Patch Kids!

They were full, life like and Ugly! Goodness, were they UGLY! 2. The Ventriloquist Dummy!

Hey! Lucifer threw his voice into a snake! What harm could come of learning to throw your voice and having a carved, wooden, humanoid type object in your home? Remember that episode of the Twilight Zone?

"I would never put you in a Box....." Scary! SCARY! Darn it!

And now the # 1 Scary, most disturbing Kids Toy that's supposed to be FUN!


Now, let me get this correct........

You buy your lil kid this toy. He or She is what one or two years old and they turn the crank, the cool "POP GOES THE WEASEL" song plays then POW! This hideous, clown thing pops out! That's supposed to be Fun right?

Have you ever actually watched your kid play with it? The kid jumps back and all but screams then he tries this thing again, cause he loves you and his or her one or two year mind can not grasp the thought that you guys don't really love em! So then, they do it again! Something happens and it's STILL NOT FUNNIE! After the 15th try the Kids KNOW IT but they're powerless to stop it cause the JACK IN THE BOX has got em cause of the "POP GOES THE WEASEL SONG!"

This of course is the beginning of your child's mistrust in you, his loss of faith in Humanity and a possible psychosis!

Go on admit it! You know you still flinch whenever you see the Jack in the Box! Sure, you'll crank it but even though you know, what's gonna happen you still flinch! How do you feel about Mom and Dad now? Go onnnnnnn! I'll wait! Admit it! It's okay to cry! As long as you do it in the bathroom, while biting down on a towel with the faucet water running.

Have Fun! Halloween's Coming!

BE Mindful! BE Prayerful! BE Careful!



Myne Whitman said...

I get the other ones but why is the teddy scary? LOL @ your analysis of the jack in the box

Mista Jaycee said...

That is NOT a Teddy Bear!
That is Teddy Ruxpin and the joker talks and sorta moves, it was scary!

clnmike said...

Lol, I can see all of them being scary to the kids.

Mista Jaycee said...

Some of them are scary to ADULTS!

rainwriter jones said...

Teddy Ruxpin looks like he's a fast food worker! (LMBAO)

Face Graffiti said...

yeh im deff not a fan of that bozo thing !! spooky! lol thanks for the welcome back.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Nooo! Not the Cabbage Patch Kids!

Miss.Stefanie said...

Bozo scares me!

Mista Jaycee said...

The Jack in the Box is the scariest and it's a CLOWN! Double Scary!

Unbreakable said...

lol these are all quite scary

NaturallyAlise said...

Sigh, Jack-in-the-box ALWAYS scared/disturbed me... I am easily startled so I take great issue with this "toy"

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha. True, true. The ventriloquist dummy has to be the only thing that scares the living shit out of me. When I first saw it on TV, I can't help going to sleep w/o thinking about it XD

A-dawg13 said...

You left out porcelain dolls.. especially the flippy-eyed ones O_o