Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dear Tech Support! Part 2

Dear Playa in Distress,

Ha! I passed this around tech support and we couldn't stop laughing! Almost got us fired! I showed the Boss and she laughed so hard that her water broke!

She was laughing after fourteen hours of labor. By the way, she told me to tell you Hi!

Now, on to your letter. You have got a serious dilemma. You see the Sexual operating matrix is not for pleasure. It's a benefit but not the purpose.

The main purpose is population growth! Pleasure, arobic exercise and all around good fun is just a fringe benefit! A great fringe benefit! You know it! Playa Playa!

In the words of Spiderman's uncle. Great power comes great responsibilty. Let's talk about your situation. You got greedy! Pure and simple! Sex is addictive and those "feelings" are built into the package. No way around that Playa!

We here at Tech Support understand your problem. We laughing our collective azzes off but we understand!

First! You can not run the Girlfriend program without knowing the rules. Any Girl raised even half right ain't gonna want to date indefinately. She's gonna want to see progress. She wants to gauge that progress towards, hold on........

Engagement! Then.........hold on............wait for it! MARRIAGE! House! Babies! Growing Old with YOU!

Well....maybe not YOU! But some Dude! You must not want that....yet! So that's why you got Sidepiece!

Now, Sidepiece is where you get what Girlfriend does not provide and/or she let's you be less responsible than Girlfriend does. That's what you get! Now, Sidepiece does not wanna be a Sidepiece! No Girl does!

See, a Girl, Lady, Woman's EGO demands that SHE BE FIRST! So even if she is the Sidepiece she's looking to move up! Her EGO will NOT let her remain anything but # ONE even if it's not with YOU!

Now, Your Eff Buddy! She's got Feelings! HA! HA! HA! "FEELINGS!"

Did you really think she could let you in the HOLY OF HOLIES repeatedly and have NO FEELINGS?

Oh Playa! That's not how it works. Women are not built like that! Her body and her spirit have memorized YOU and guess what??? You have memorized all your Women tooooo! So, now thier programming is doing what it is designed to do. Oh wait! Their programming is doing what it is designed to do for Their HUSBAND!

So now what to do. We are gonna solve your technical problem. Do you have a LIFE INSURANCE POLICY?

May I interest you in TERM LIFE perhaps? Well come back to that!

Do Any of your Women know martial arts? Have a permit to carry a Firearm? Have the Burning Bed, Fatal Attraction or Any Madea Movies in they collections? If so YOU IN TROUBLE!

Dig? You gonna have to change YOUR PROGRAM! And possibly your ADDRESS! You have to DELETE YOUR PLAYA PROGRAM. You will have to GROW UP! GROW A PAIR! REINFORCE YOUR BACKBONE and CHOOSE ONE or NONE!


HEY! I'm trying to save your life! Girlfriend, Sidepiece and F Buddy are programs you added when you installed PLAYA's CLUB PRESIDENT 5.0. You are infected with INFIDELITY and GREED! Ya cheatin Bastard! (Boss Lady threw that in)

I suggest you check our catalog and order FIDELITY 10.0, INTEGRITY 9.7, TEMPERANCE AND SELF CONTROL 2.5 and BABY Please DON'T KILL ME! Please Don't Leave Me! 3.0 and FOOT RUB AND FLOWERS 10.0

You gon need em Playa!

Now, by not reading the fine print you neglected the possible side effects! STD Dujour! Unwanted Pregnancy Times THREE! Not to mention the Broken hearts and possible Broken Nose you could receive!

Here's a thought! Who else is samplin a slice of SIDE PIECE? Oh, programs like this are not EXCLUSIVE! Who does your good ole EFF BUDDY Go HOME to? Hummmmmmmm? Better head to the Doctor and get your ish checked!

Stop Running the Playa President Program immediately! We take no responsibility as we informed you at the outset that THIS IS NOT INTENDED FOR USE IN REAL LIFE BUT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY! CLUB NOT RESPONSIBLE!


Don't Try this at HOME!

I hope y'all found this hilarious!

BE Mindful! BE Prayerful! BE Careful!


Go said...

LOL Choice that was funny. I love your play on words and for Mrs. Choice to throw in the cheating bastard part was simply hilarious. I love you too. When Is Mrs.Choice going to start a blog or does she have one already?



Mista Jaycee said...

Mrs. Jaycee should have a blog of her very own but alas she does not! Some of the jokes have come from very real conversations with Mrs. Jaycee

chayoma said...

i was rollin in laffter the whole time.
Hi Boss Lady...
Dem playas best knw

Mista Jaycee said...

Hey Chayoma,
Thanks for chiming in. Know any players like that? How bout Ladies that fit the catagories? Chime in I'd love to discuss them.

Anonymous said...

Clever metaphors. :)

Mista Jaycee said...

Good to see you. You didn't laugh? You just read it academically and said clever metaphors? (sadface)
I want you to laugh!

Anonymous said...

cute i like it. sorry i haven't been around made some blog updates had to read blogs to my list.

nikkiblanco said...

YES! I found that very funny!!!! :)