Did you see the
Doritos commercial that aired during the
Super Bowl? Young Fine Sista introduces her date to her
lil Man while she gets ready for their date.
Prospective Suitor makes nice with
Lil dude and grabs a
Doritos. Lil Man slaps the living poop out of his Mom's date!
"Put it back! Don't Touch My Mama or My Doritos! "Cute huh? Well, butt whuppin aside, that
Lil Dude, would have gotten, it goes on to show how jaded we've become. Dig, a baby, has taken it upon himself, to be the
"Man" of the house to the extent that he exacts punishment upon anyone who breaks his rules. Ask yourself, what has
Lil Man seen in regards to who dates
his Mama and how they have been treated?
When I was dating, I met alot of Sistas, that had a kid or children. It's very difficult to date a Sista with a child cause you have alot of things that you have to deal with. A potential suitor deals with the child, the Father, the Woman's current, and previous relationship, with the Father. Last, but not least, the Child's relationship with the Father.
Most of the Father/Child relationships I have seen were dysfunctional, totally FUBAR! (Effed Up Beyond All Repair)
And for my next trick I will now attempt to start a healthy relationship with a new Lady who has a Child.
Why?
Cause she fine as hell and I like her! She likes me!
What about the kid?
Now, I remember having to deal with the kid cause the kid was in the way of ME getting with the MAMA! But as the relationship got more serious and went beyond the first three dates and beyond the EYE just wanna Eff you stage; When it got real, I did think about the child. I would Try to BE friends with the Child and tried to BE a decent Male Model for the child.
Dig, YOU are the MALE Model for them. If it's a Boy, they will see and record how you act, how you act towards them and how you treated they MAMA! Every Woman the Boy dates from then on, will recieve a recording of YOU and every Man that ever tried to Date his MAMA!
If the Child is Female, then SHE will record how you act towards HER and treat HER MAMA! And every DUDE she meets from then on will BE compared to the MEN she has recorded.
OOOOOOOHHHH!
Big, Heavy, Responsibility huh?????
Feeling it NOW?
Good!
Now, the biggest frustration for me was when the Child's Father comes around. If HE's a Deadbeat, then you always got to Deal with him sabotaging your relationship with the CHILD cause the "Fatherman" refuses to give up the title of "DADDY"!
No, HE still wants to BE Daddy! That's my SON! That's My Lil Girl and he comes around to BE good time Charlie! Buying them gifts! Taking them to Chuckie Cheese and doing all the FUN stuff! He may even kick in a lil money! But he won't take the real job of BEING their Father!
He especially makes his presence known when YOU come around. See when he hears that there is a NEW suitor then he comes to make sure the new suitor KNOWS that he planted his flag on Planet Girlfriend BEFORE YOU and has populated EDEN!
Kind of a weird pissing contest! The Child then remembers that HEY YOU ain't my DADDY!
This is the most unfair thing cause the child has no idea what a piece of shit they Daddy might actually BE!
The Child understands three very real things.
1. YOU are NOT the FATHER!
2. MOMMY and DADDY should BE together and they ain't
3. They don't have to listen or respect you IF they don't want to.
Why?
You guessed it!
"FATHER MAN!"
So let me get to the point! To all the Absentee Fathers and Deadbeat Dads! You need to step up and take a real point in raising, loving and nurturing your child or children. See you need to DO it, even if you and the MAMA, are not ever getting together again.
You need to work with the Man, that your former Mate, has chosen to BE with in order that you all make a concerted effort to raise decent HUMAN BEINGS.
But what if I can't do that Mista Jaycee?
Good Question Dead Beat Dad!
Ideally you should step aside! You should BE GONE and Stay gone! But ideals rarely work in the real world.
NO! You had the child! It's always your responsibility and the child NEED to have you even though YOU a piece of Shit! The kids wants YOU but YOU a piece of ****!
Raising another Man's seed means that I take on the Garden as my own. Once, I've taken the child as MINE! There is no coming back! I took the vow to raise them, love them and BE there for them and if they turn out to BE eff'd up HUMAN BEINGS then I take the blame.
Hey Man! Heavy!
Yeah, it is heavy so with that. Step Up or Stay Gone but You will not be permitted to create mischief!
BE Prayerful! BE Mindful! BE Careful!
Jaycee