Well now it's official, David Stern has gotten his wish and now the Los Angeles Lakers and Boston Celtics will once again enter the arena and like the gladiators of old duel to the death! Well...not death but well you get it!
By the way David, I hope you didn't make a deal with the Devil to get this, trust me, the payoffs too steep!
Let's face it! Kobe, Derrick, Pau, Lamar and Jordan versus KG, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen is awesome!
But the Celtics must be stopped! Stopped! For the good of all Humankind they must be defeated!
IF THE CELTICS WIN THE PORTAL OF ABADANON WILL BE OPENED FOREVER AND THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE, KENNY G! BARNEY THE DINOSAUR! MICHAEL BOLTON! AND YANNI!
WILL BE RELEASED FROM THE NETHER REALMS TO PLAGUE AND WREAK HAVOC UPON US ALL!
WREAK HAVOC ON US ALLLLLLLLLLLL! WREAK HAVOC ON US ALLLLLLLLLLLL!
No, Just kidding! Oh come on, that's funnie and ya know it! No need to worry about the four horsemen when we're dealing with $4.19 a gallon gas, The Patriot act and another season of Flavor of Love! Ya know you agree with me. Ya do, admit it!
OK, get the paper bag and put it over your face, breathe! Are you alright? Breathe! OK now? Breathe!
Remember what we read in The Book of Parliament/Funkadelic's Glory Hella Stupid or Pin the Tail on The Funky, how Sir Nose Devoidoffunk, attacked ultilizing a Rear March Maneuver to attack from the back and pinned the tail on the funky turning Starchile into a mule?
IT'S THAT BAD!
No it isn't! Just kidding but still the Lakers must play defense all four quarters. The great social scientist Moses Malone has shown us if you don't got the ball, you can't shoot the ball! Never have truer words been spoken.
Defense creates Offense! Defense creates Offense! Defense creates Offense! Defense creates Offense!
Kobe can not create all the offense, every body's gotta get involved and every game! Hustle! Heck I'll play I come up to KG's knee I think, well not knee exactly maybe just the high shin area but I'll play Damn it!
Now the Celtics will flaunt their 16 banners and their traditions and all the legends, Mr. Bill Russell, Mr. Sam Jones, Mr. John Havalicek. Bird, Kevin Mchale, and The Big Chief Robert Parrish but these Celtics aint them. So all that noise can stop now!
We can counter them with Elgin, Wilt, Magic, Jerry, Mr. Logo himself West, Worthy, Coop, Shaq and The Greatest one of all El Hajj Kareem Abdul Jabarr, The Captain, Mr. Skyhook you throw in Jack, Stu, Chick's Microphone and the Laker Girls and we got them beat to the next century on that alone.
Seriously though, Congrats to the Celtics on becoming the Eastern Conference Champion, I don't want to diminish that. Congrats! Good game!
But when the Lakers whoop y'all green leprechaun, shamrock behinds and deny you a seventeenth banner I will dance not just for myself but for all humanity.
Play hard! and Good Game!
Be Prayerful, Be Mindful, Be Careful!