Saturday, August 9, 2008
John Edwards Exposed! Sob!
Say it ain't so John! Say it ain't so!
You cheated on your wife and the baby's possibly yours?
Ya don't say!!
But wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
It gets better!
No, not really but well...it gets worse! WTF! John, you did this while your wife is suffering from breast cancer? No, your wife knew you did it, helped you cover it up, with your stank self and you ran for President again. The other woman kept quiet too didn't she? Y'all paid her off, huh? Is that what happened? She didn't list the Daddy on the birth certificate did she? No, she didn't!
So y'all was all complicit! All y'all!
You telling me, ya actually want me to believe that Johnnie Edwards, Trial Lawyer, Millionaire, Former Liberal, Demo-Cratic, Senator From North Carolina, home to The Finally, Late Not Great Sen. Darth Jesse Helms's State, the Twice, Presidential Also Ran senator, good hair, nice smile, that dude? And y'all saying y'all didn't know? With all the background checks they go through? With all the Dirty Rotten Tricks that the Republican led country has used since 1993? Ya saying that The National Enquirer is the only investigative journalistic body with Integrity? HAHAHAHAHAAH, I almost had it that time but I can't keep a straight face!
John, is there any real reason to have a blood test? Is the baby yours John? If it is then say that now!
You were my choice for President John, You would have been my choice with or without John Kerry or Barack Obama. You were the only candidate that spoke for the poor, the working class, frankly me! The only one! Hell, I would still vote for you! So what the President's a trick! Beats what we got now! The last Trick we had left us with a surplus and the world still likes him better than the one we got right now!
Now, that it's out it's time for you to be even more outspoken! Why, cause you been liberated!
Liberated John! Nothing that they can hold over you with they hypocritical behinds! You can speak to the New York Times now! Why, cause they just whores themselves! They hyped up the lies that led to the Iraq war! They parroted the Bush administration's agenda! Bush's and Karl Rove's own mega media propaganda machine, with Judith Stooge Miller running the point!
You can speak to FAUX News who knows more than a lil bit about lying and manipulation of data than anyone this side of Joseph Goebbels! You and Jesse Jackson can hang out, talk shop and maybe y'all can redeem yourselves by doing some good. Kick Kwame Kilpatrick a good swift one in his lower realms! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! The Liberation can you smell it?
My respected colleague Professor Tracy over at Aunt Jemima's Revenge is alot more harsh on you! Oh, the things she said, they burned my retinas! They hurt my virgin eyes! Just kidding!
There's only a few parts of me that's still virgin and it ain't my eyes, ears well there ain't nothing on me virgin! And there ain't nothing ( double Negative) virgin bout y'all's behind either! Hell, we all know somebody close to us that's done this and alot worse and we still friends with they stank behinds but alot more careful! So don't puss on me now! No, we ain't virgins! Cynics, Angry Jaded beyond belief but VIRGINS NAWWWWW!
The Gov of New York Elliot Spitzer got caught this year thanks to Illegal use of the Patriot Act and his own self righteousness and zealousness in prosecuting crooks in New Yawk! Heck! Call the Just-US Department! Hahahahahah! Yeah, I tried to keep a straight face too!
The Good Rev. Ted Haggard and Sen. Larry Craig smiled for the cameras for the Right wing all these years, condemning Gays and got more sugar in their tanks than C and H, Elton John and that Sweet looking Black Dude on America's Next Top Model but hey!!! Don't let me judge!
Rep. Tom Delay allegedly helped engineer the theft of the 2000 US Presidential election and then got busted for corruption later but hey! I'm not judging! No, not me! Dicky Cheney's wife wrote a lesbian book once upon a time, Georgie H. Walker Bush snorted enough coke and drank enough liquor to well...let's just say you had a problem.
Jerry Springer former vice mayor of Cleveland, wrote a check for his Private, Adult Entertainment Contracting services! Chuck Colson, Earliman and Dean, G. Gordon Liddy all went to jail! Dukie Cunningham went to Jail! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It get's better!
The Former Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger currently Pope Benedict 16, was once a Hitler youth! Young boy, Germany, 1930/1940's par for the course!
Don't let me judge! So John, unlike your hair and your pretty smile, ya ain't perfect! Ya just like the rest of us! What a shame!
Repentance, Atonement, Forgiveness, Redemption and a good butt kickin from ya wife and it will all be better!
Then afterwards, John smile for the cameras then say Eff em John! Move on, and do what you should be doing which is help the working class and the poor John. Hey Bam- Bam!
John Edwards, would still make for a great Attorney General! Who better than an absolute heel to kick congress squarely in the split!
BE Careful! BE Mindful! BE Prayerful!