Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Mista and Mrs. Jaycee's Top 5 Thangs Not To Do on Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! Last year, Mrs. Jaycee and I were watching the news. There is a place in Wilmington that slaughters fresh turkeys. A nice Elderly Black Woman was looking at the Turkeys as they walked around the holding room.

When asked which one she wanted. She replied the one that looks like he's running thangs!

Wow! Needless to say that this was disturbing to me.

So with that I have a list of the Top Five thangs Not to do on Thanksgiving!

5. Do not show up a Full appetite and Empty Hands!

Take your behind to the Sto and grab a bottle, some cranberry sauce, some ice, more beer! Something!

4. Thanksgiving with the Family is NOT the time for you to decide to Come out of the Closet!

Family is Family believe me if you just tell your Momma and Your Aunt, the news will travel fast and sure as Taxes!

3. If you don't like the Damn Food Shut up about it!

Nuff said on this one. Hell, you'll eat again. Let's face you ate before you came. So there is not any reason to create strife that could last a lifetime.

2. TODAY is NOT THE DAY for Substitutions!

Do NOT GO NO CAL, LOW CAL Skim Or VEGAN TODAY! We lookin for the fatten azz, artery clogging, greasy, sugary, good tastin, Comfort food today!

1. If you bring Him or Her, Make sure you've known them at least 6 months!

Remember this is YOUR Family and anyone you bring will be a reflection on YOU so remind them to be courteous! Now, is not the time, to rail against the Pork Hoof/Hamhock, Grandma put in her greens Malik!

And if y'all been sexxxin then Damn it! We yo family and we gon be looking for the Damn Ring or the Receipt!

Honorable Mention:

Don't Use up all my Damn Foil with Yo Greedy azzes trying to take stuff Home!

Wear Proper clothing! This means UNDERWEAR! No Thongs ladies! Ain't no reason we should be commenting on your azz! Cover them damn Tats! Tramp stamps, piercings and that old musty Christmas sweater you pulled from the back of your closet!

Knukkas is eatin!


Happy Thanksgiving again!

BE Mindful! BE Prayerful! BE Careful!

Happy Thanksgiving Again!


uglyblackjohn said...

What? No thongs (on women)?
What are we supposed to talk about when the game gets boring?

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

ROFL! Have a great Turkey Day!

Mista Jaycee said...

You ain't supposed to be looking at Family anyway UBJ. Besides they family which mean, make fun of they big water heads! They Family!

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Jaycee, those cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh.

Rita said...

No 4 is my

jjbrock said...

Happy Thanksgiving Mista Jaycee!

Miss.Stefanie said...

LMAO! Happy Turkey Day mi amor!

ChocolateOrchid said...

Hilarious!! Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

hope you enjoyed the holiday. this was a funny post. i didn't have thanksgiving dinner = (

SincerelyGo said...

Ahhh this was funny! I would feel so bad choosing the Turkey to go under the knife.

This was a funny list. Ahh I love being with my family for the Holidays! It's been a while since I brought some guy around my family other than the friends in my circle.

Hmmm could it be Mrs.Choice may start her own blog in the 2010? Hint..Hint.Mrs. Choice



tankojjetty said...

Hope no one broke the rules sha...
I'm sure you'd have gone all ballistic...

keli said...

You know @ today is not the day...I had to check my sister to make sure she was not using low fat this and fat free that...

hope your thanksgiving was happy and blessed!