Tuesday, November 18, 2008

It's almost time for the Biiig Chicken!


Locusts: Extended family that swarms a bountiful table leaving scraps in its wake. Be cautious when dealing with locusts. Make sure they contribute more than just an appetite. Send them out for ice, cranberry sauce, dinner rolls, beer and liquor if you indulge and if not then extra sodas! That way when the table gets swarmed and it will you won't feel bad. They drank some liquor, had a good time but they didn't drink all of your liquor. Dig?
Locusts can be slowed by beer and mixed drinks but true scavengers will ignore these and go straight for the 12 year scotch, the Henny, the Remi Martin. You'll walk out and your cousin who you haven't seen in four christmases will have gone to your secret cabinet behind the broom and mop and be drinking your good stuff. Watch and then come back and tell me if I didn't tell ya right.

Jackals: Like all scavengers this could be the uninvited new boyfriend or girlfriend or tagalongs from some of the other family. Most jackals come empty handed again see above definition for strategy. Remember though they are not family so be careful and courteous but make sure they take out the trash and again. Send them out to get a lil something.

Hooray! It's almost Big Chicken Day! That's Thanksgiving for all you folks not familiar with my lingo! I believe that a Turkey is nothing more than a musclebound chicken with a speech impediment. He has a lisp so he gobbles instead of clucking but he's a chicken. Because of his physique and his lisp he has been unfairly maligned, he has been ostracised by the poultry community.

This is unfair! So this Big Chicken day I propose that we boycott big chicken by cooking something else. How about a nice slab of beef ribs? Some great potato salad, can't you just taste the fresh mustard and green onions? Real Mac and cheese. Not velvetta or some processed chesse food but real grated cheese. Cheese! Colby, Jack, Munster, Chedder, mild and sharp, CHEEESE!

Collard Greens are a must! Use Smoked Turkey instead of the pork hoof Grandma used, add garlic and onions and Lawry's seasoning. Toss a green salad with everything in it. How about just some grilled chicken with lemon and lime?

I'm just saying that sweet potatoes and or Yams ( Not the same thing) is cool but variety is indeed the spice of life and the most important thing is not watching football or getting irritated with the Locusts and Jackals remember what the day is about. It ain't the Pilgrim nonsense, it's the family being able to get together, eat, share and cherish each other. We survive so much as a people separately, we should give thanks and share and celebrate among our families.

Dig?

Happy Big Chicken Day! Gobble Gobble baby!

BE Careful! BE Mindful! BE Prayerful!

Jaycee

3 comments:

Miss.Stefanie said...

I THINK I SHALL!

A Go Bytch said...

I have never cooked a turkey.. I'm nervous what if I mess it up. My friends hold me and my cooking skills in high regard I would hate to disappoint them.

Go B.

Mista Jaycee said...

It's just like baking a chicken. Try rubbing lemons over the skin first. A look up ways on the internet to retain moisture.
Jaycee